the rewards of gratitude

Maintaining an attitude of thankfulness is not always easy. Being thankful is; it's looking at situations and people around ourselves and saying, 'I am thankful.' Just do it. This engenders gratitude. But maintaining that is difficult because of distractions. One of the commonest causes of my lack of thankfulness is worry. Worry has the ability to drain energy. It's a fruitless practice that I subconsciously use to maintain the illusion of being in control: if I worry enough, then I may be able to do something to stop the thing happening that I fear will. Worry is part of being human, but excessive worry may be the symptom of a more fundamental anxiety issue.

Probably one of my reasons - whether I realised it or not at the time, I can't remember - for wanting to be more thankful was to try and reduce the amount of worrying I did. Often I found that I was worrying about not feeling as happy as I would like to feel. This essentially was me being anxious that I was not doing the things that made me happy. Because I was not immediately able to change what I was doing to what I thought I would like to be doing, I concentrated on being grateful for the things that I did have and could do. Although the deliberate act of being thankful made me feel more content and fulfilled, it also made me more aware of the things that I could do which were pursuing my 'dream'. Once I was more aware of what I wanted to be doing, I was able to start doing it. For example, I realised that I was missing having a creative outlet, so I started writing. As I became thankful for writing, I did it more and enjoyed it more.

So that was 'my' part in pursuing happiness. But then divine guidance comes into play, too. I was offered a particular job for three months - something I probably would never have chosen myself - which I ended up really enjoying. As well as being an enjoyable job, it also was something that gelled with my longer term dreams (being able to spend time writing, moving somewhere specific that I had in mind). I felt unsure initially when I was offered the job opportunity, but decided that I would be thankful for some of the aspects of it that I imagined would suit me.

This job provided me with the insight into an area I really had little exposure to previously. I was bowled over with how it suited my personality and strengths, and how it enabled my other aspirations. It felt like my decision to be thankful for my current, unsatisfactory situation a few months earlier had opened doors I never expected.

Now, I have a job interview next week in this new area of medicine, situated somewhere we wanted to move to. But...with this comes the potential for new worries. Where will we live? How will our daughter settle? Will we be able to afford another big move? Will our relationships which we have established here, continue? And I am struck that, as I have further opportunity to 'follow my dreams', there is always more to worry about.

It's a great opportunity to learn, though. I see that as we pursue something which is important to us, even if it is not entirely clear how it will end up, there is risk involved. And it makes sense. No dream can be apprehended by simply staying static for forever. There are times for being static and rooted, and which require doggedness and persistence, and these are important skills and attitudes to learn too. I have watched myself going from being thankful, to being slightly amazed at the good fortune that has been allotted me, to starting to worry about what the new good fortune holds. I can smile at myself in this.

And I reiterate my desire to be thankful. A large part of my motivation is to be a father and a husband who is thankful for what he has, so that this can rub off on my family. It is wanting to be a grateful friend who can give back into relationships what is so freely given to me. It is the desire to become a caring practitioner who can use his skills to help others. I don't really believe that by me being unhappy or unfulfilled I can be the best person for others that I can be. This is a long way from my upbringing where I was surrounded by people who believed that the badge of suffering is some kind of mark of honour. I learned that personal happiness is always secondary to others' happiness; any other way is selfish. Sometimes I still feel like being unhappy or melancholy might show some kind of solidarity with the billions of people in the world who are less fortunate than I am.

Maybe I can encourage you to be thankful for where you are at. For the safe and wealthy country that you live in. For your friends and family. For a job that provides a salary. For food on your table. And maybe I can encourage you to figure out more what your dreams are, and to pursue those in an adventurous, loving and constructive way. By this, you can become the best blessing that you can be to the world around you.

If you can solve the problem, what is the need of worrying?

If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?

Do not be anxious about anything. But in everything, by prayer and with thanks,

present your requests to God.